City Smoke

The Mrs. and I decided to venture into uptown yesterday. We had seen something about City Smoke, located in Founders Hall and part of the Sonoma Group, so we decided to check it out. We rarely venture uptown, but a quick look at the menu online with its long list of Bourbons and what appeared to be a decent cocktail list, we threw caution and better judgement to the wind.

Well.... the music was good, a nice mix of classic rock, mostly southern tinged.

The rest, not so much.

The list of bourbons and whiskey's is impressive and, as stated, the cocktail list looked compelling. So I dipped my toe in the water and ordered their "signature" Old-Fashioned. Now, my friends, there are only 5 ingredients in an Old-Fashioned and one of those is ice. You muddle orange zest with bitters and sugar, then pour over bourbon or rye add ice and voila. I ask you, how is it possible to screw this up? I'm not sure, but somehow they managed it. It tasted like nothing. It felt like the flavor already in my mouth was sucked out and into the glass.

I want so badly for there to be some kind of cocktail culture in this city and so many people tell me I'm to hard on the bars here, but if someone can't competently assemble a mindless classic that should need no more than the ability to breathe to assemble, how am I the one in the wrong? If you won't hire someone capable of doing anything other than sling beer, Please, Please don't do anything other than serve beer.

The food was fine, but by the time I'd had my soul crushed by my drink, I wasn't pre-disposed to like anything else. For the good, their take on pigs in a blanket was good, a sausage wrapped in a potato chip. Everything else was bland. The Mrs. had a pork sandwich that was supposed to be pulled but came more chunked with baked beans that were serviceable. I got the brisket plate with fried okra which was bland; I would have been happier if it were over salted, at least that is more traditional, and grits which were creamy and pretty tasty. The meat was ok but it comes pre-sauced, this is fine, but they have three house-made barbecue sauces and tell you all about them and then you stare at the meat on your plate that is already sauced. what the hell is that about?

Normally, I would give a place a second chance because there is some glimmer of hope that it might have been an off night, I don't see that here.

City Smoke - 100 N. Tryon St. (Uptown) - http://www.citysmokeclt.com/ 

Old school Tiki goodness.

On our last trip to Florida in March, The Mrs. and I headed down to Ft. Lauderdale for a day of fun that included a trip to MoAFL. They had a traveling exhibit from the Uffizi. This is not really relevant, but I wanted to remember that it happened. On our way back to the In-Laws, we decided to take the long way and drive up Federal Hwy. Mostly, looking for second hand stores that we might find old Florida kitsch to buy and check out some of the last remaining mid century architecture left in S. Florida. As we were driving I asked my lovely wife to be on the look out for a bar, "Preferably, something Tiki." and I kid you not a mere half block later she points and says "Like That?" My reply is not fit for public consumption, but needless to say I was excited. What we had stumbled upon was The Mai Kai Restaurant. A huge throwback Polynesian temple to the Tiki of yesteryear. This my friends is not, some new fangled, ironic dump recently thrown together by a guy with too much money trying to cash in on the cocktail revival. This is the real deal.


photo courtesy of http://critiki.com/

Sadly, we were there too early, and they did not open for another couple of hours. Right then we vowed to return. And so, with the occasion of my sister-in-laws return to the states for a visit from Russia, we made the trek to Florida, but only with the promise that we could go to the Mai-Kai.

We went down early, for our 6:30 reservation, figuring we could get some drinks at the bar. Then we learned that it was half price appetizers and drinks. So we thought maybe we would just have dinner there. So we ordered a Poo-Poo platter and some spareribs. To drink I ordered a Barrel of Rum, The Mrs. a Special Planters Punch, also ordered were a Shark Bite, Zomie and a Pina Colada. They all got passed around the table as we marveled at the deliciousness. Which is no surprise, considering the pedigree of the place. Opened in 1956 during the heyday of non-ironic Tiki, the original bartender for the Mai-Kai came from the legendary Don The Beachcombers, where he worked for 13 years. With him came some of the secret recipes and the techniques made famous by his former employer. These high standards are still in place today. At a time when most places would have cheaped out long ago, the Mai Kai still does it right, with fresh ingredients and, while probably not top shelf liquor, it's not aristocrat either.


photo courtesy of http://www.atomicgrog.com/

As we sipped on our second round, mine a Shrunken Skull, we nibbled on some more appetizers and decided that, if we were there, we should get the full experience. So, we moved over into the dining room for dinner and a show.

The food is mainly Chinese inspired "Polynesian", I ordered sweet and sour pork, The Mrs. had the roast duck Mai-Kai. And I am at a loss to remember what else was ordered. I do remember my last drink was a tiki classic, the Mai-Tai. The food was good, but nothing to special and as we finished up and I sank into my final cocktail. The lovely ladies of the Mai-Kai came out on stage to dance quickly followed by the "warriors".

The show was fun. Each vignette was based on a different island of Polynesia, with a native dance and music, there was a live band which made it much more enjoyable and of coarse at the end there was fire.


photo courtesy of http://www.atomicgrog.com/

Before leaving we walked through the beautiful gardens populated by an array of tiki gods set among the plants and a waterfall and on our way out the door we stopped in the gift shop for some glassware. I picked up a Barrel for the Barrel of rum and a shrunken skull mug. Next trip we'll just hang out at the bar and take in the atmosphere,... and half priced drinks.

Mai Kai - Ft. Lauderdale, FL - http://maikai.com/  -I didn't want to waste the space here but check out the mystery drink